why??down mood~

keep thinking about that...
what should i do...
feel hard to go...
feel wanna find some excuse not to go
feel dont want to leave...
feel like want to go study...
feel...many feeling...
i am regretting now...
i shoould go straight for a-level or sam in january...
i should not go to work....
i should not enjoy myself too much...
i should not go out too often...
i should not...should not do many things...
which cause me can't be serius now...
did my duty...
as a child, as a malaysian...
i should take my responsibility...
actually go there also not bad...(自我催眠中)
i am really confused...

why am i so "heng"
is that the more i hope...the more i cant achieve??
so get more dissapointed...

i thought they all will understand me...
but turned up..
only my parents understand and support me...

i m so so so so so so so so so so so so regret......................
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........
pek ceh with myslef ar................
plz let me fa xieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee yi xia xia......

i go to study is in order to skip it o i want to gooooooooo??????????????????????






why cant understand myself tooooooooooooooooo....................